Writing helps me getting out of many conditions like anxiety these days..
I need some time to sleep but my thoughts never leave me,
There is no door to shut the thoughts out and leave anxiety.
Feeling like crying but tears are not falling out of me.
I wish I could share or tell someone what is happening,
But its too hard to explain how anxiety is getting me.
I keep telling myself I am doing just fine
But then my thoughts shut me off and push me back to anxiety.
Sometimes I am too suffocated to breathe,too numb to sleep and close my eyes.
I wish there is a door to shut the thoughts out and leave anxiety.
I want to love you like never being loved before,
Want to feel you on me like I have never been alone.
And I promise I will win this fight over anxiety for our love and for family!
For people out there who are having anxiety issues,I want to say I know sometimes its too hard to say or express yourself and your feelings.And By no means I am assuming I am an expert or something who has all the answers,the thing is I am assuming..and that’s how we all relate and if you are having anxiety like myself I want you to know that sometimes its Ok not to be ok..that’s alright,you are not alone!And if there is someone in your friends or family who is having anxiety issues as well just let them know that they are Ok!
In someways for myself-In the end on the positive note,I will say Anxiety has made me understand that I care what I am thinking about.And I am grateful for those I have and feel blessed to have them in my life.
I always try to write something from which everyone can benefit or learn from,but today I want to express my feelings.
So as the title says its a “Love Letter” to the person I am in love with from the first time I saw him..Actually,I am quite not sure whether I should post it or not because the person I am in love with does not know about this yet.But I think I am gonna do it..just putting it out in the universe you know..!!
So it all started on 21st Dec,2014 at 10:07PM -yeah I know the exact timings,may be it sounds like I am such a looser,but anyway..!!Here is the short love letter to you-
We started as friends and I was in relationship with someone else at that time,but you were always there- both through hard and smooth ways.I can tell you anything you won’t judge you just listen.And when I actually express my feelings,you were with someone else and I didn’t know about that .Until last December,I always thought may be the right time will never come.But we overcame many things.
And now,Its like I have never been so sure about anything like I am sure about us.I want to tell you that I love you and I cannot imagine my future without you.I cannot stop thinking about you.I want to have family and grow old with you.But you left that breaks me.I want to trust you,I really do.I miss you so much that it feels like my heart will explode.I know you understand how I am feeling right now.So I can only perceive by using imagination and believe that everything will be real!There are many things going on in life but there is an important thing in my life that I cannot ignore that is how I am connected to you. Where-ever I go you are always in my heart!
This is story of a little Rabbit named Birdy who had dream of flying high up to the sky like an eagle.This is the story of believing in what others don’t believe and the journey of never giving up on your dream no matter from where you are,who you are and what others say!
Once upon a time,far far away in the middle of the woods,there lived a little rabbit with hundred of her brothers and sisters along with father rabbit and mother rabbit in burrow.The little rabbit had two big ears double the size of the other rabbits.In the community of the rabbits in the woods,they called the little rabbit as Birdy because her ears were of size of the wings of bird.In the jungle where all the rabbits do the farming of carrots as they suppose to do,on the other hand, Birdy was always trying to find different ways to touch the sky.
Birdy’s father rabbit and mother rabbit on seeing her jumping from heights started having fear of loosing her,so they tried to convince her not to do so by saying flying is not what rabbits are born to do but Birdy do not know how to and when to stop.She believe in herself and continued trying.Other animals of the woods made fun of her by saying things like-“Look a Rabbit trying to be an Eagle!” but Birdy instead of answering them back with words she kept trying and trying.She believe in it inside that she can fly and that everything is possible.
One day when Birdy was wandering and jumping from the rocks trying to fly,the tiger saw her and thought that rabbit would make his delicious lunch.He jump over Birdy to attack her,Birdy saw him and ran as fast as she can.While running and running for her life,Birdy reached on the edge of the cliff.On one side,it was hungry tiger and on the other side it was trench. Birdy took a deep breathe and closed her eyes.She took leap of faith and jump from the cliff.
As Birdy was falling down in the river,on half of the way her big ears started moving.Her ears were moving like wings of bird and she starting coming upward. Birdy was flying.On seeing rabbit flying,the tiger got frightened and run back to the jungle.
Like Birdy,Believe in your Dreams and Trust Your Intuitions.99% of who you are is Invisible and Untouchable.Dare to believe in your own ideal.All powers is from within and therefore under our control.So break yourself free from your hereditary patterns,cultural codes,social beliefs,all limiting thoughts and prove once and for all that power within you is greater than power within the world.
They talk the language of Ratings,
Rate this,Rate that,Even Rate Human Beings,
But actually Rating is nothing but all that it is “A Rat That stinks”!
More than gun,More than knife
And more than any sharp thing,
Nowdays the most dangerous thing to humans and their lives are Ratings!
Rating Beauty,Rating Modesty,Rating Sexuality!
Is there any one in this circle who has humanity?
Or it has already become habit of everyone to rate everything!
Today not only Loyalty,But Cruelty and Brutality also have ratings,
How cruel you can be to someone with words to kill human being,
And this society now let you live on the basis of these ratings!
Everyone say find a reason to live a life,
And find a purpose in Humanity!
Stop saying advises to everyone and first clean this circle up for humanity!
This society,this kind of humanity,
It’s better to be invisible rather than living in this brutality!
Death rate is increasing at least 5% because of these ratings,
Please realize Love and Be Kind to one Another is not just a Quote,
But one’s Life saving thing!
Change starts with you,
Please recognize you are and you have your own way of path
And your own purpose in Life!
You are perfect the way you are,
You have got only one life to Live so Please Live And Let Live!
Love And Be Kind To One Another,
Don’t let them and their mentality define who you are,
And Don’t be victim of them and their Ratings!
Yesterday While Caterpillar was eating and crawling on the leaves,
Yesterday While The Caterpillar was in its growing phase,
With All the faults and in the weirdest shapes,
No matter the woods are trying to push it back from its fate,
The Caterpillar Have To Learn and Fly Tomorrow When The Sun Will Awake!
The Birds were and will run after the caterpillar to take its taste,
The Grasshoppers will pull it down to take its place,
But When Every living-being In The Woods will become against its thinking state,
Its the time when the caterpillar will learn and fly because it is in it’s fate!
While the Caterpillar is moving higher to reach its state,
The wind and the every matter in the air will try to strike it down from it’s place,
The caterpillar will eventually fall and have it’s courage broken but it will Dilate,
And fly up to the sky beyond it’s range!
Caterpillar will get lost in the dark woods,
It will shake when its time to take its first flight above the woods,
It will become laugh for all living-beings of the woods,
But in the end,The Caterpillar Have To Learn And Fly High Over The Woods!
Sitting In My White Room,
I am thinking about you!
Lying in my bed hugging pillow beside my side,
I am dreaming about you!
Standing in the middle of the crowd,
I am missing you!
I will fight my inner demons,
I will climb the highest mountain and swim the deepest ocean,
If it takes to be with you!
I will show you all my scars,
I will open up and tell you all the darkest secrets,
If you promise you will be beside my side!
Because you are the reason my heart beats and rise,
You are the reason the yellow flower is alive,
You are the reason stars shine and the sun rise!
You are the reason and Nothing’s Worth Without You!
Knowing what will be the end,
Either one of them have to die or have to live far away for each other’s sake,
Will the end change this time or it will be another pathetic love story of two souls again!
Where there is fire,water cannot exist,
The fire cannot live when water come to life,
Will two ever be alive at the same time when both are in existence!
Whenever water try to hold hand of the fire,the fire ends!
Will this curse on two souls ever end?
Will they meet in the end or it will be another pathetic love story of two souls that never lead to happy end!
Fire purifies water and make water alive,
Water become more valuable with fire,
The bond between water and fire is too strong to break,
That bond make them closer and alive forever,
Will their bond ever come to life,
Or it will break in the end!
Miracles happen And Everything Is Possible!
Faith is the only light upon future,
And Faith is the one that never lead to unhappy end!
So Yes May be the tale of fire and water will lead to happiness and this time they will meet in the end!
Till the wind forgets its directions,
And the day forgets to come,
The yellow flower will be waiting for him to come!
Till the sun forgets to shine,
And the snow forget to fall,
Till the rain drops starts falling dry,
The yellow flower will be waiting for his shadow to fall!
Is he the same like he first came to the garden then?
Does he know the flower is still blossoming for him to come?
In the dusk fall and till the earth die,
The yellow Flower will be blossoming in the Autumn Fall!
Like never ending oceans continue to flow,
And unending life death cycle go,
Till never-ending light of faith become low,
In the middle of thousands of red flowers,
The yellow flower will continue to wait for him to show!
This is the story about a small tree,the tree who was standing solely in the middle of the ocean.It felt miserable and helpless due to its loneliness and always wished for someone to stand beside it,That never happened but This small tree ends up becoming “The Wonder Of The World” and eventually people world-wide swim across the ocean to be able to stand along it.
Once upon a time far far away,in the middle of the ocean there grows a small tree.As this tree was having no one else present around while growing up,it felt sad and lonely.Every season-Either Spring or Winter or Summer or Autumn or Rainy,it never had anyone to share these seasons with.Whenever storm came,it stand it out beside oneself shaking while seeing other trees on the other side of the ocean holding branches of each other.It always wished for someone to take out and came along but that never happened.
During spring season,when all the trees on the other side of the ocean were full of joy,smiling and embracing each other,this tree felt very miserable and helpless.Gradually all the seasons began to seem same to it whether its winter-storms or spring because in all the seasons it was standing holding oneself.
Years passed the small tree grows up,it faced every storm came by and one morning,One Biologist happened to came over the ocean who was testing the fertility of soil in the woods.He was stunned by seeing this tree.He wondered how could even is it possible that there is only one tree moreover alive standing in the middle of the ocean instead of storms.That tree became a wonder for everyone around the world.Now people around the world came to see it and swim across the ocean to be able to stand along it.
The biologist himself came to the ocean every weekend to take look over the wealth of the tree and its roots and branches.The biologist always make sure that the tree’s growth will not be affected by storms.The small tree is not only getting one but all people to stand beside it.
If you are in the dark times right now away from the world,it is the season of your greatest growth and it’s the time of being productive in a different way-where you can not only produce in the world but within yourself,shifting from fear to Love and you can grow strength and love.The power and the force that is discovered in this time is the undefeatable!
The first thing to recognize is that what is happening to you is not a punishment,Its actually an opportunity.If you are victim of your pain,Use Your Pain…Please trust that it is leading you to something greater.Use your pain as an instrument to grow strength in you so embrace it…embrace you pain!
Believe me the tough times never gonna last…clouds will lift,right there is sunlight above the clouds…you are just looking at the clouds right now.The clouds will lift,the dark times has come to move you to the next level-The next chapter of your greatest life.
Please Remember that You Are Built To Shine,Greater Things Are Coming On Your Way.The Darkness Will Pass And You Are Meant To Fly! In The End,Everything Will Be Okay And If It’s Not Okay,It’s Not The End!
I really hope you love my writings and can relate,Check out my blog to know me better and to see your own story in my writings!